Keeping a Good Relationship with your Ex-Spouse
Once a divorce has been finalized, it can be tempting for the ex-spouses to simply not talk to one another or associate with the same group of friends. And in some situations, this can work well. However, when children are involved, it is imperative that each ex-spouse is getting along as well as they can so that the kids are less affected by your decision to divorce.
3 Rules to Live By
There are 3 rules that you are going to want to live by at first, especially when the divorce is new:
1. Never say anything negative about the ex-spouse to the child (directly or inferred).
2. Avoid arguing with your ex-spouse when a child can hear (including phone conversations).
3. Discuss dates and the like with the ex-spouse, especially when you may be considering introducing this date to your child.
You and the ex-spouse should stick to the time calendar that was settled on within the courts when it comes to who gets the child or children at what time. It makes everything easier knowing when the kids are going to be with one parent and vice versa.
Avoid losing your temper with the ex-spouse, and if you feel this is going to happen, then walk away and cool off.
It is also recommended that if there are issues between you and the ex-spouse that you consider counseling. This is not meant to get you two back together again, but it could help to have some counseling so that you two can co-parent in the best possibly way.
Keeping the Relationship Strong
It can be very hard to stop the relationship from turning into what it was before the divorce. Many couples find that even though they are divorced, they fall back into the same patterns as before, with arguing or having those feelings of anger toward one another. So how can you keep the lines of communication open, without having these emotional ties? There are several tips:
Your home is your home; the ex-spouses home is theirs. Be sure to create these types of boundaries to ensure that there are no issues or conflicting feelings towards the ex-spouse.
Keep out of each others personal lives. If it does not involve the children, you do not really need to know. For example, neither need to know if the other has a date, where they are going, who they are going to be with and the like.
While there are many couples who are able to be friends later down the line, right after the divorce avoid relying on each other for advice or support. This can come later, if it is possible. But, you need to make decisions without the other person’s input.
Divorce is difficult, and many couples are at a loss as to how to act, especially when children are involved. With the anger, regret, sadness that is often felt in a divorce, it can be difficult to put these aside to ensure your children are having as normal of a life as possible. However, it is possible.